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.. Uch, how much I hated that.It frustrated me a great deal to see my sisters in lovely clothes, tosee them with great hair and also watching them as they went throughpuberty. I wanted to be them, I hated my body as it changed throughpuberty, the more it changed the more I hated it. Secretly I would dressin their clothes, I loved the feel and how they looked. I hated my bodyeven more as hair began to grow and puberty took its revenge, muscles, adeep voice and facial hair....It took many years of secretly dressing before I gained the confidenceto do something about my body. I did lots of research into changing sex,I realised that as I was six foot tall it would be difficult to pass sodecided to take matters into my own hands, I needed to be happy as me. Ifirst visited a private clinic in Manchester, they took blood tests,told me to apply cream twice a day to my beard growth and chest, theyalso gave me some 0.625mg Premarin tablets. It took three visits (eachat great expense) to realise. If thingswent well with Matthew later I didnt want him to feel the stubble on mybody, so i decided I would have to shave. My idea of having a shave wasstanding in front of the mirror shaving my face, not in a hot showersoaping up my legs, and trying to grip the slippery razor with handstopped with talon like nails, and my huge boobs flopping around in theway every time I bent over, while my long blond hair hung in front ofmy face. But eventually I managed to have myself silky smooth.After my shower I got myself dried, and then sat on the edge of my bedand spent an eternity combing through and drying my hair. With thatdone, i went to my lingerie drawer to find some underwear. I never inmy life thought I would be happy or excited about wearing a bra, butafter the previous days uncomfortable experience without one, Icouldn't wait to put one on. I chose a matching cerise pink bra andpanty set. They were both satin, and I first hooked my bra at the frontbefore spinning it around and.
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