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This is not funny and I am very unhappy.Sincerely,Violet DAY EIGHT:O.K. Pal ! !WHAT IN THE SCREAMING HELL AM I GOING TO DOWITH EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILKING?JESUS!!!I THINK I PREFER THE GODDAMN BIRDS!THE GODDAMN MAIDS-A-MILKING HAD TO BRING THEIR GODDAMN COWS.THERE IS COW SHIT ALL OVER MY LAWN AND BIRD SHIT ALL OVER THE HOUSE.I CANNOT MOVE MY FEET.JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE,SMARTASS.DAY NINELISTEN SHITHEAD ! !YOU'RE A SADISTIC BASTARD!NOW I HAVE NINE PIPERS PIPING IN MY FRONT YARDAND THEY ARE STANDING KNEE DEEP IN COW SHIT.THIS AFTER CHASING THOSE MAIDS ALL NIGHT LONG. CONSEQUENTLY,UPSETTING THE COWS TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE STEPPING ALL OVERTHOSE GODDAMN SCREECHING BIRDS.THE NEIGHBORS HAVE STARTED A PETITION TO EVICT ME.UP YOURS ! ! ! DAY TENYOU ROTTEN PRICK ! ! !NOW THERE'S TEN LADIES DANCING.I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THOSE SLUTS "LADIES".THEY'VE BEEN BALLING THOSE GODDAMN PIPERS ALL NIGHT LONG.NOW THE GODDAMN COWS CAN'T sleep AND THEY'VE GOT DIARRHEA!EVERYTHING HAS TURNED TO A RIVER. He swung Narlir as he ducked, the blade taking the Giant’s hand effortlessly. The huge creature screamed as dark blood sprayed, misting in the air.Darius tried to ignore the cries of his men as some of them inevitably went down to the fierce Noroth assault. A glance to either side showed him – thankfully – that the majority of his battalion had survived and were pushing through. Good riders, all of them, hand-picked by his best captains. Giants were big and strong, but also clumsy, and experienced riders knew how to navigate them.The next challenge was the pikes, being held steady in place by a multitude of hulking Trolls, Gnolls and several creatures even Darius did not recognise. He braced himself as Strider charged forward into the forest of spears, as fearless as his rider... The battle was done. Darius was on his knees, head bowed and more exhausted than he’d ever been. He was bruised and bloodied, but alive, Firesong still flickering in his fist. Sadly, Strider had not.
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