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That was enough for me not to like him. I snapped awake to a beeping alarm that told me the comm was being jammed. I rolled out of bed and dressed before yanking the door open. I cursed and yelled when I saw the missing guards and ran for the princess’s room. I broke the door open and found the guards dead on the floor and the princess missing.I lifted my left arm and turned on my comp tracker. She had not known I had attached a micro tracker in her hair. Unlike the other trackers it used ancient tech and was not jammed. I spun and started to run as I pulled my weapon. I did not see the other guards who should be responding and kept going.I trotted as I followed the signal through the school and to the gym. I crashed into the doors hard with my shoulder. They burst open and across the huge gym by the locker room door were three guards. I ran and aimed and they reacted and pulled pistols. I fired and the first went down and then a second.The last fired but I dove and rolled and leaped. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local WalmartDear Mrs. Woolf,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are"documented by our video surveillance cameras":1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station.
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